I wanted to share a lesson from the 30-Day Breakthrough Program, a program that helps you reinvent, reconnect, balance and breakthrough.

Isn’t it easy to think, if only I had this body or this amount of money or this type of house my life would be great.

I had this experience a few months ago.  I was so tired from the lack of sleep and constant demand of taking care of my newborn, Kai. I love him so much, but I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.

As I was sitting in the chair rocking him and trying for my fifth attempt to get him to fall asleep (and stay asleep), I was thinking in my mind, “If only I could sleep I’d feel so much better. All I need is some sleep and my life would just be great!”

My parents arrived that night and were more than happy to relieve me at 4am so I could get some much needed sleep.

Earlier in the day I had a few other interesting happenings. First, there was a significant charge on my credit card that I had not authorized. I started fretting that someone had stole my card. Then, I had an experience of someone who had done some misleading things to another person wanting to partner with me. Out of love I wanted to support them, but out of integrity did not.

The drama and details don’t matter, but what matters is that now it’s 4am, my parents have Kai and I can’t sleep, and I’m up fretting about these impermanent things.

I finally had that ONE THING that would make me happy and content (SLEEP) and now I was up tossing and turning.

A light bulb went off in my head about joy coming from within and that no outside thing can ever make us happy.

So, if joy is internal then why don’t we feel it all the time?

ATTACHMENT!

Attachments are created by our desires. When we want something or have a desire we tend to be attached to a particular outcome.

Then, when it does not turn out that way we intend, we get upset. Or we may start to shame ourselves or feel guilty. Guilt attracts shame and punishment, very low vibrations that can block the overriding joys we have in our life.

When we get in this downward spiral, we start to feel like we can’t really do it and the negative thoughts about ourselves build.

Then, the next time we attempt something similar, negative thoughts flood our minds about how we can’t do it. Or we carry these past “failures” in our subconscious.

Plus, your vibration is more powerful when there is emotion behind it, so failures tend to have a lot of emotion behind them making more negative results draw even faster to you.

So, what do you do about these attachments?

First of all, look at things you are “wanting.” It’s not bad or wrong to have goals, however, really look at the goals you are seeking.

Most of the time we seek impermanent things, so when we don’t get them we are upset and when we do get them, they go away. Because these things are impermanent, their loss is inevitable and thus suffering follows.

We may even cling to an emotion like happiness. When we are happy, we cling to it and want it to last. When we’re not, we are upset and seek what will bring us back to that state of happiness. So, either way, we are attached to happiness. Rather than letting ourselves feel happiness, then sadness, then happiness, then sadness, we cling to being happy, which creates suffering when we don’t feel it.

I know I’ve done this with vacations. I’m so excited to take a few days off and then while on the vacation I just want it to last. I don’t want it to end. So, rather than just accepting that it is going to end and knowing it’s impermanent, I try to cling to this relaxed state of vacation, creating suffering during and afterward.

Think about your life. What are you attached to?

I can think of so many things – the health of my family, my business, I could go on and on. Again, it’s not bad to want your family to be healthy, but see how it can cause so much suffering when things don’t go the way you want.

It takes and INCREDIBLE amount of inner strength to feel joy and peace no matter what is going on around you. It’s a continual practice, but awareness is the first key to recognizing when you are being brought down by attachments.

That’s why we spend lots of energy focusing on the virtues. When you emanate out these virtues, you bring your focus to those and multiply them vs. “I want this” or “I don’t want that.”

When you start to embody the virtuous qualities, you no longer need those “outside” things to make you happy.

I don’t want to simplify this process at all. Through our deeply ingrained habits and our environment we are trained to look for outside things for satisfaction. And, I’m not advocating that it’s bad or wrong to desire health or well being.

In fact, I promote it through visioning, etc. But, it’s more of a realization that you already are all that you are seeking. It is innately within you.

When you realize all you are seeking you already are, you experience true freedom.

So, where’s the balance? How do you go about setting a vision for your life without attachment?

It’s just that – set a vision, but then surrender the outcome. After you set a vision, focus and work on yourself internally. What changes would you need to make on the inside to “become” the person who is realizing your vision? That change in character will emanate out from you and bring you more peace and joy than any thing could. Plus, the original outcome you were visioning may not be the best possible outcome anyway.

Again, it’s a practice. But, when you start experiencing the freedom regardless of your circumstances, you do feel a true sense of joy and peace.

If you notice you are feeling really tired and run down, take a look at your attachments. Sometimes the biggest givers can be drained because they really want another person to change. However, by doing your best and being your best and surrendering the outcome, you release the drain you feel and connect with your freedom.

Learn more about creating a breakthrough in your life!

Want to use this article in your newsletter or blog? You can, as long as you include this blurb: Life coach and spiritual teacher, Jeanie Barat helps you remove blocks, overcome obstacles, heal obsessive thoughts and release weight, so you can enjoy your life. To learn more and get instant access to a guided meditation visit  www.TheFitnessJeanie.com.